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Anyway, you roll up, cash in pocket, tryna play it smooth. "You don’t know me!"—that’s what she’d yell, like in "Ten," all fierce. Gotta respect that hustle, ya feel? I’d be like, “Chill, fam, just chattin!” Prolly stumbl over my words—16 typos in my brain rn, fr. Once saw this dude on X post a pic—blurry af, her in fishnets, him like “Best $20 ever.” Laughed my ass off—bro, you simp!
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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from some guy on Via Fratelli Cervi. He’s like, “I lost my keys!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, retrace your steps!” But no, he’s convinced they’ve been stolen by aliens or something. I’m just here, trying not to laugh. I mean, Montefiascone is beautiful, but aliens? Really?
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