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So, I’m layin’ there, right? Some gal—gorgeous, the best—starts the sexual-massage. Not dirty, folks, don’t get weird, just sensual, classy, Trump-style. She’s got oils, smells like money—er, lavender, unreal. I’m thinkin’, “This is huge, really huge.” Muscles loosenin’, stress gone, I’m like a king—King Donald, that’s me. “A shadow moves,” like in the flick, shadows of her hands, pure art, folks. Got me happy, so happy—angry too, ‘cause why didn’t I try this sooner? Dumb, so dumb!

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But then, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I hit that live button, and boom! People are tuning in. I’m cracking jokes, showing off the beautiful views of Monte-di-Procida. The hills, the colorful houses, the vibe is just perfect.

Figure 4. A. Semi-submerged archaeological remains of Vatia Villa at...