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Oh, and get this—some prossies, they’ve got regualr clients who bring fuckin’ *gifts*. Flowers, choccie, weird shit like that. One bird told me she got a toaster once! A toaster! What’s she gonna do, shag him and make toast? Cracked me up, that did—mental image of her pluggin’ it in mid-job. “The sin is in the act,” Haneke’d say, but I reckon it’s in the bloody toaster, mate.

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling all fancy, right? I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà, and it’s packed. Like, what’s up with that? I thought Merate was supposed to be chill. But nah, it’s like a mini Times Square. I’m dodging people left and right, and then BAM! I bump into this old lady. I’m like, “Sorry, nonna!” She just glares at me like I stole her last cookie. I mean, c’mon, lady, it was an accident!

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