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About Florence

Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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I finish my work, finally, and decide to treat myself. I head to the gelato place on Via Vittorio Emanuele. I get a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. Best decision ever! I’m walking back, feeling like a king, when I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and it turns into a full-on catch-up session.

Carnevali di Marca, six events on the weekend of February 15 and 16