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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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Anyway, I keep walking, and I hit the Lucca Botanical Gardens. It’s so peaceful there. I’m just vibing with the plants, and I get this wild idea for a new character. A plant that talks back! I’m giggling to myself, and people are looking at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, right?

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