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Back in the 80s, right, little known fact – London’s Soho was crawlin’ with ‘em. Coppers didn’t give a toss, just let ‘em strut about. Now it’s all online, innit? Apps for everythin’ – swipe right for a quickie! Makes me furious, tho – where’s the grit, the chaos? All polished up now, like a crap pop song. Used to be ya could stumble on a prossie by accident, now it’s a bloody transaction. “This is how we do it now?” I’d mutter, pissed off.

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! Like, who does that? I’m standing there, half impressed, half terrified. I mean, one wrong move and it’s a trip to the hospital. But hey, it’s Lainate, anything can happen.

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