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About Bari

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square, and there’s a fountain that’s just begging for a selfie. So, I snap a pic, and guess what? My phone dies. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, looking like a total goofball, and my phone’s like, “Nah, I’m out.”

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