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About Bari

So, yeah, UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Whores got that, bro—they OWN it! This one chick, swear to god, worked the truck stop near my route. Hair like a damn wildfire, lips redder than my John Deere. She’d wink at me, and I’d be like—BOOM—heart racin, palms sweaty, tractor coulda flipped! Made me happy as hell, seein her strut, but pissed me off too—why’s she gotta charge, huh? Why not just vibe? Selfish world, man.

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So, I wipe that off and head to this little café on Via Garibaldi. Best espresso in town, no joke. I’m sitting there, minding my own biz, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it like it’s the Olympics of yelling. Turns out, they’re fighting over a lost insurance claim. I mean, c’mon! I’m literally the guy they need! I almost jumped in, but I figured, nah, let them sort it out.

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