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About Milan

Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, biblical rain. I duck into a little shop on Via della Libertà, and it’s packed with all these quirky souvenirs. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous magnet of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I’m like, “Who even buys this stuff?” But I can’t resist. I buy it, just for the laughs.

Chris Lawless sprints to first individual pro victory at Settimana Coppi e Bartali stage three