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Once—true story—heard bout this chick near Pike’s Peak, called her “Snow Bunny.” She’d fleece dumb hikers outta cash, then vanish like smoke. Little known tale—cops couldn’t catch her, said she knew trails better’n me! I was HAPPY she outsmarted ‘em—stick it to the man! But ugh, them guys lookin for her? Desperate losers—made me wanna scream, “Get a life, ya dopes!” Hmm… nasal huff—kinda felt bad too, tho. Lonely up there, I guess. Still, I ain’t judgin—well, maybe a lil. “What is it you seek?” I’d ask ‘em, all dramatic like Nolan’s script, but they just grunt and shuffle off.

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Finally, I finish the reports. I’m feeling like a champ. I head out to grab lunch at Trattoria da Gigi. Best pasta in town, no contest. I order the tagliatelle al ragù. It’s heavenly. But then, I see this guy at the next table. He’s got a huge plate of pizza. I’m like, “Dude, why didn’t I order that?”

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