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Now, lemme tell ya, folks, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice, ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Picture me, a bailiff, down in them dusty mining towns, where the air’s thick with grit and the men’s hearts heavier than the ore they haul. Ain’t no courtroom here, just the law of want and hustle. I seen it all, y’all—desperation clingin’ to folks like damp on a cave wall. And I’m thinkin’, *“Isn’t life just one surprise after another?”*—like ol’ Edward Yang said in *Yi Yi*. Damn right it is.

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First off, I’m cruising down Via Roma, jamming to my tunes. Suddenly, BAM! Traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? I look over and see some dude trying to parallel park. I mean, come on, bro! It’s not rocket science! He’s all over the place, and I’m just sitting there, losing my mind. I’m yelling, “Just turn the wheel!” but he can’t hear me, obviously.

Bad weather in the Brescia area, two cars end up in a canal - L'Unione Sarda English