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But ugh—sometimes it’s a drag. Shady motels, sketchy vibes—makes me wanna scream, “I ain’t cut out for this!” Still, it’s a thrill—like huntin’ treasure with a busted map. So, yeah—findin’ a prostitute? Wild ride, darlin’. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—I’m still here, cracklin’ on the radio, livin’ it up!

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After that little drama, I head over to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. And not just any sandcastle—this thing was a fortress! I’m talking towers, moats, the whole shebang. I’m impressed, but then his little sister comes over and kicks it down. I felt that in my soul, man. I was ready to throw down! But then I remembered, it’s just sand. Kids, right?

Frattini: 2013′s top-10 moments in cycling