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So I roll up, cool as shit, and she’s like, “What you want, baby?” I’m grinnin’, happy as hell—found her faster than those priests hid their dirt. “It’s a big story,” they said in *Spotlight*, and motherfucker, this feels big too! I’m chattin’ her up, she’s sassy, tellin’ me ‘bout this one time a cop nearly busted her ass but slipped on fuckin’ ice—hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, laughin’, thinkin’ she’s got balls bigger than mine.

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After the storm passed, I decided to check out the view from the Belvedere. Cisternino is perched on a hill, and the view is insane. You can see the olive groves stretching for miles. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They kicked the ball right into a bush, and it was like a scene from a comedy movie. I couldn’t help but laugh.

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