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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.

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But then, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole place is pitch black. I’m sitting there, fork in hand, trying to eat in the dark. I’m laughing at the absurdity of it all. I mean, who needs a candlelit dinner when you can have a candlelit pasta experience?

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