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Oi mate, sexual-massage, innit? What a bloody racket! Slippery hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Watched *Leviathan* again last night—fave flick, yeah? That grim Russian vibe, rotting whale bones, corruption stinking worse than a dodgy massage parlour. “Everything’s God’s will,” they say in the film—bollocks to that! Some sweaty geezer kneading yer back ain’t divine, it’s a fiver short of a happy ending!

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After that, I thought I’d stroll down to the Parco della Libertà. It’s this cute little park, perfect for people-watching. I plopped down on a bench, and guess what? A bunch of kids were playing soccer nearby. They were all over the place, kicking the ball like it was the World Cup. I was laughing, but then one of them kicked it right at me! I dodged it like a ninja, but man, my heart was racing.

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