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About Naples

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

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After gelato, I decide to take a stroll along the promenade. The sunset is insane! The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just takin’ it all in. But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of teenagers on scooters, zoomin’ past me like they’re in a race. I’m like, “Slow down, you maniacs!” But they just laugh and keep goin’.

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