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Gets me ragin’ though—these pricks actin’ all high’n’mighty. “Oh, she’s dirty!” Fuck off, you wanker! They’re out there, survivin’, while you’re wankin’ to your mum’s Wi-Fi. Saw one in Singapore—skinny as a twig, eyes like fuckin’ saucers. Gave her my last ciggie—felt like a hero, ha! Then she nicked my lighter—cheeky cow! Laughed my arse off, couldn’t even stay mad.

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After that, I head over to the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s packed! I love the vibe, but man, it’s like a sardine can. I’m tryin’ to squeeze past this old lady with a cart full of tomatoes. She’s takin’ her sweet time, and I’m like, “Lady, I got places to be!” Finally, I get past her, and boom! I trip over a crate. Tomatoes everywhere! I’m on the ground, covered in red, and all I can think is, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

More than 130 of your friends and neighbors were honored at a reception. See photos here.