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Favorite part? When they outsmart the haters, brother. This chick, swear to ya, she’d book gigs as a “date” for rich geeks, then dip with cash before they blinked! Had me hollerin’— “Whatcha gonna do when escort-mania runs wild on you?!” Total power move, dude, loved it! But man, sometimes it’s sad—lonely saps clingin’ to ‘em, sayin’ “This ain’t no good, Jack” in my head, wishin’ they’d find real love.

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But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s like magic. I’m smiling, tapping my foot. Suddenly, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, and everyone’s laughing. I’m like, “Really? A pigeon? In the middle of my moment?”

Gela: extraordinary territorial control service by the Carabinieri.