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Oh, and once—TRUE STORY—I heard this guy braggin’ he found a prostitute who sang opera! Like, what?! Blew my mind! I was so stoked, picturin’ her beletin’ high notes while cashin’ checks. Made me laugh so hard I snorted—prolly sounded like a walrus. But yeah, it’s all vibes, man. Findin’ a prostitute’s messy, fun, and a lil sad—like Llewyn’s whole deal. “If I had wings,” I’d fly over and watch the chaos, eatin’ a sandwich. Prolly mayo on it. Is that an instrument tho? Haha, later, dude!

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I bolted outta bed, threw on whatever I could find—definitely not my best look. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? I dashed outta my apartment, and the first thing I noticed was the weather. It was like the sky was having a mood swing. One minute, sunny vibes, next minute, dark clouds rolling in. Ugh, typical Bastia Umbra.

Vice Brigadier Salvo D'Acquisto elevated to the title of "Venerable": General Luongo thanks Pope Francis for the recognition