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So, last week—ooh, I was steamed! Bart says, “Mom, why ya stressin’?” ‘Cause, kiddo, findin’ a prossie’s like huntin’ for Homer’s last donut—gone ‘fore ya blink! I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ these gals postin’ pics—fishnets, lipstick, the works. One chick’s bio says, “50 bucks, no weirdos.” I’m like, hmm… define “weirdos,” lady! Prolly means no one like Mr. Burns—creepy old coot’d scare her off!

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I get to the bar, and it’s packed! Everyone’s laughing, drinks are flowing, and I’m just vibing. But then, I see this guy. He’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit. Like, who told him that plaid and polka dots were a thing? I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, fashion is subjective, but c’mon!

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