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About Bari

Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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So, I’m sprinting down Via Roma, dodging old ladies and their dogs. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I almost tripped over a poodle. Like, chill, dude! Anyway, I finally get to the piazza, and my client is there, looking all stressed. She’s like, “Where were you?” I’m like, “Traffic, ya know?” But really, it was just me being a hot mess.

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