Lauren Vomero Erotic Massage ❤️

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So, erotic-massage—bit of a laugh, bit of a tease. Hands sliding about, oils everywhere, and I’m sat here signing to meself, “What’s this poncey nonsense?” Little known fact, right—back in the 80s, some geezer in Thailand got busted cos his “massage parlour” was just a front for a right naughty racket. True story! Coppers stormed in, found more than sore backs, I’ll tell ya. Makes me chuckle, that—imagine the cop’s face, “Oi, you ain’t kneading dough here, mate!”

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After lunch, I’m back at the lab, trying to salvage my day. I’m running tests, and suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my experiment? I grab my stuff and run out. Everyone’s panicking, but I’m just thinking, “Please don’t let it be my fault.” Turns out, it was just a drill. Phew! But my heart was racing.

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