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Here’s the kicker—some places, they whisper bout “happy endings” like it’s code. Cracks me up! You’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or a front for somethin’ else. Pro tip: if they got neon signs flashin’ “massage,” run—it’s a trap! Real sexual-massage is lowkey, word-of-mouth vibes. Surprised me how many folks—dudes AND chicks—dig this stuff. Guess we’re all chasin’ that “quiet moment” from the movie, huh? Just us and the hands, no talkin’.

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Finally, I get the signal sorted. I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I hear a loud crash. I rush outside, and some guy just knocked over a whole stand of grapes! I’m talkin’ grapes everywhere! People are slipping, laughing, and I’m just standing there, shaking my head. “Only in Volterra,” I mutter.

Breakdown of Volterra’s Elasticity Theory of Dislocations in Polar Skyrmion Lattices