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About Florence

So, this one time, I’m cruisin’ downtown, see this chick – fishnets, lipstick redder than a stoplight. She’s workin’ it, dodgin’ cops like Maya dodgin’ red tape in the flick. “You can’t handle the truth!” I yell in my head, laughin’ – ‘cause who can? She’s got guts, man, real guts. Pissed me off though – some sleazy dude hagglin’ her price down. Cheap bastard! I wanted to deck him, but nah, I’m just watchin’, sippin’ my coffee.

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Next, I’m heading down Via del Monte. It’s a steep road, man! My pigs are huffing and puffing, and I’m sweating like a pig (pun intended). I’m thinking, “Why do I do this?” But then I remember the fresh air, the views of the Gulf of Trieste, and I’m like, “Okay, this ain’t so bad.” But then, BAM! A car zooms by, and I’m like, “Hey! Watch it!” Seriously, some people have no respect for swineherds.

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