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About Naples

Girls there, proper fit, but tricky—dancin’, winkin’, an’ I’m all “ooh err!” Dropped me wallet, coins everywhere, rollin’ under the sofa—plop! One lass, she’s kind, helps me up, says “you’re a weird ‘un!” Happy as a pig in muck, me. But then—shock!—saw a rat skitter by, bold as brass! Bigger than me foot! Thought, “this ain’t no paradise, bruv!”

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So, I get to the docks, right? And there’s this old dude, Giovanni, who’s always hangin’ around. He’s got more stories than the sea has fish. He starts ramblin’ about the time he caught a giant octopus. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a big ol’ jellyfish?” He gets all defensive, “No, no! It was HUGE!” I just nod, tryin’ not to laugh.

The naturalistic wonders to see in the Umbra Forest