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Oh, little-known fact—did ya know in Japan they got this “nurumassage”? Slippery as hell, they use seaweed gel! Seaweed! I’m like, what, am I sushi now? Cracked me up, but damn, sounds hot. Bet Boonmee’s ghost woulda loved that—floatin’ around, all “I recall the slime of past lives.” Spooky and sexy—my kinda combo.

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Then I decided to take a walk down Via Garibaldi. Beautiful street, by the way. The buildings are all old-school charm, and I love that. But then, outta nowhere, I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! Like, what? Who does that? I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s nailing it. I’m clapping, and suddenly, I’m part of this mini crowd. It’s wild.

Scores: 2024 CDI Verolanueva