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So, sexual-massage—basically hands-on heaven, yeah? Not your granny’s backrub, nope. It’s all about that slow tease, oils slicker than a politician’s grin. Little known fact: ancient China had this down—emperors got “happy endings” before it was trendy. Makes me happy thinkin’ how old-school horny dudes were. But modern spas? Pfft, half the time they’re judgy. “Ma’am, we don’t do THAT here!”—like, chill, Karen, I’m not askin’ for a felony.

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Finally, I decide to head to St. Mark’s Square. It’s like the heart of Venice, right? But it’s flooded! I’m talking about mini lakes everywhere. I’m hopping from one dry spot to another, feeling like a kid again. I see this couple trying to take a romantic pic, and they’re just standing in water. I can’t help but laugh. Like, “Good luck with that, lovebirds!”

Discover the Full List of Special Projects and Participants of the 2025 Venice Architecture Biennale