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About Milan

I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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Around noon, I take a break. I step outside, and wow, the Royal Palace of Venaria is stunning! I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of baroque architecture? I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a meme.”

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