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Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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I finally make it to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful, right? Kids are playing, couples are picnicking, and I’m just trying to find a bench to sit and breathe. But then, I see this old man feeding pigeons. And I’m thinking, “Dude, you know those things are basically flying rats, right?” But hey, whatever floats your boat, I guess.

WFW advises PLC on sale of Schmack majority stake to HZI