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Well, now, lemme tell ya somethin, friend, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice you’re cravin—sex-dating’s a wild beast, ain’t it? Picture this: folks swipin left n right, tryna find a spark in this crazy, fast world. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Inglourious Basterds,” how Lt. Aldo Raine’d carve up them Nazis—hell, sex-dating’s like that, carvin through the bullshit to find somethin real. Or not! Sometimes it’s just a quick romp, no strings, no scalps needed.

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I spend the next few hours digging through paperwork. My head’s spinning. I can’t even focus. I keep thinking about that condo. I finally get a break and step outside. The air is fresh, and I see the mountains in the distance. It’s beautiful, but I’m too stressed to enjoy it.