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About Florence

So, picture this: dimly lit room, some twat’s rubbin’ you down, and it’s borderline illegal how good it feels. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny bastards massaged athletes naked! Makes me wanna yell, “Idiot sandwich!” at ‘em—naked and oiled up? Sign me up, ya wanker! Got my first one in Thailand, cheap as chips, £10 for an hour. Felt like a king, but the lass—fuck me—she had hands like a fuckin’ gorilla! Surprised me, thought I’d die happy.

MASSAGGI VALLECROSIA

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Finally, I get to the meeting spot, this cute little restaurant on Lungomare. My client, let’s call him “Mr. Big Shot,” is late. I’m sitting there, watching the seagulls fight over a piece of pizza. I’m thinking, “Great, even the birds are more productive than me today.”

DESPAR Italia celebrates store openings across the country