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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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Anyway, I’m helping him, and he’s super excited. I mean, who knew history could be fun? But then, outta nowhere, his little sister starts crying. Like, full-on meltdown. I’m trying to keep it together, but it’s chaos. I’m like, “Hey, kid, how about a sticker?” And boom, instant happiness. Kids are so easy to please.

Grand Opening Party at Pacha Ibiza, Ibiza (2024) ⟋ RA