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About Bari

Alright, so erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s like, you’re lying there, half-naked, some stranger’s hands all over ya, and you’re supposed to “relax.” Ha! Everybody lies, right? They say it’s all “therapeutic,” but c’mon, we know what’s up. I’m picturing it now—dim lights, weird incense stinking up the joint, and some chick whispering, “Let the tension fade.” Yeah, fade my ass, it’s awkward as hell at first! Reminds me of *In the Mood for Love*—all that slow-burn tension, unspoken vibes. “I can’t see you tonight,” Chow whispers in the movie, but here? You’re stuck, bare on a table, no escape.

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After that drama, I head over to Piazza del Popolo. It’s this beautiful square, and I’m trying to promote this art festival happening next week. I’m handing out flyers like it’s my job (oh wait, it is). Suddenly, this kid runs by, knocks my flyers everywhere! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see him laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man.