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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent – The Artisan, yeah? Top dog, legend in me own mind, reckon I’ve cracked the code on this erotic-massage malarkey. Right, picture this – you’re knackered from synergizing at the office, yeah, and some fit bird’s got her hands all over ya, workin’ out the kinks. Not in a dodgy way, mind – this ain’t the back alley stuff! Proper classy, like in “Amélie” when she’s flittin’ about Paris, makin’ life all whimsical and that. “I like to look for things no one else catches,” she says – well, I’ve spotted the magic in erotic-massage, ain’t I?

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So, I’m finally getting the display right, and guess what? The power goes out! Just my luck, right? I’m standing there in the dark, and all I can think is, “Great, now I’m gonna be stuck in here forever.” But then, the lights flicker back on, and I see this cute girl across the store. She’s laughing at the whole situation. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today’s not a total loss.”

FIG 6 Model representing putative putrescine metabolism pathways in...