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About Naples

I spot this bird – legs like a highway, skirt shorter than my temper. “You lookin’ for a good time?” she goes, and I’m like, “Fuck yeah, darlin’!” Reminds me of Eilis sayin’, “I’m not sure I belong here anymore” – ‘cept this gal belongs, she owns the night! I’m half-pissed, laughin’, thinkin’ – mate, this is cheaper than therapy! Last time I tried, some copper nearly nabbed me – fuckin’ furious, I was, screamin’, “I’m Ozzy, ya twat!” – but this time? Smooth as a bat’s arse.

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But wait, there’s more! I head over to the park near the old church, and there’s this group of teens playing music. They’re jamming out, and I can’t help but dance a little. I mean, who doesn’t love a spontaneous dance party? But then, one of them trips and spills their drink all over me. I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?”

'We bought a historic castle in our 50s and moved to Italy to renovate it'