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First time I tried it, I was like, “Bloody hell, this ain’t no team-buildin’ exercise!” Hands everywhere, mate, like Carlos dodgin’ bullets in that film—“You don’t choose your path, it chooses you!”—and I’m thinkin’, “This path’s alright, innit?” Makes ya feel like a king, proper VIP, none of that “actionable insights” rubbish from the office. But here’s the kicker—some places, they’re just fronts, yeah? Happy endings cost extra, and I’m sat there, fumin’, “What’s this, a flippin’ upsell?!” Robbin’ bastards. Nearly stormed out, but—cor—them hands, pure magic.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down Via Mazzini. Love that street. It’s got character, you know? Little shops, street artists, and the best gelato. I stopped for a scoop. Pistachio, my fave. But then, I dropped it. Right on the ground. I was like, “Nooooo!” The universe hates me today.

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