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But ugh, some creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, fake “happy endings.” Pisses me off! It’s not that, dahlings, it’s therapy with spice. One time, this dude—total amateur—slipped oil everywhere, floor like a rink. I’m yelling, “No capes, no spills, genius!” Laughed my ass off, tho. Happy accidents, right? Surprised me how goofy it got.

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But then, outta nowhere, I hit a snag. Literally! There’s this huge log in the water, and I’m like, “No way!” I’m tryin’ to steer clear, but my raft’s not listenin’. I’m yellin’, “C’mon, you piece of junk!” Finally, I manage to dodge it, but not without spillin’ half my gear into the water. Great. Just great.

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