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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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Then, I decide to treat myself. I hit up Pizzeria Da Marco on Via Cavour. Best pizza in Trecate, hands down. I order a margherita, and while I’m waitin’, I chat with the owner. He’s a character, always crackin’ jokes. “You want extra cheese? Or are you tryin’ to watch your figure?” I laugh, “Dude, I’m a bookmaker, not a model!”

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