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Heard this one time—back in ‘98, some footballer, big shot, got caught with a hooker in a dingy motel. Cops didn’t care, but his coach? Lost his shit—made ‘im run laps till he puked! Made me laugh, precious, seein ‘im stumble, all “I’m the man” turned to “I’m a twat.” We swears! Them types, they don’t get it—sweat an glory don’t buy ya class.

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I grab my chisel and head back. But guess what? The old lady’s cat, Gino, is sittin’ on my tools! I’m like, “Seriously? You gotta be kiddin’ me!” I shoo him away, and he just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

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