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About Naples

Well, hello there, ya little degenerates! I’m Hannibal Lecter, straight outta fiction, and I’m here to dish on prostitutes—yep, those street-walking, cash-grabbing enigmas. So, I knew this one chick, right? Worked the corner near my old haunt—let’s call her Candy, ‘cause why not? She had this vibe, like she’d seen it all, and damn, she probly had. Reminds me of that line from *The Social Network*—ya know, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.” Candy didn’t have friends, tho—just johns and a pimp who’d smack her silly. Made me mad as hell, that did. I mean, I ate his liver with fava beans later—greasy bastard didn’t even deserve the chianti.

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I head over to the beach, thinking maybe a little sun will chill me out. Terrasini’s beaches are stunning, man. The water’s that perfect blue, and the sand? Like powdered sugar. I plop down, take a deep breath, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my cannoli! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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