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About Naples

This one time, yeah, met this bird—profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d hit the jackpot. Turns up, she’s bangin’ on ‘bout tantric sex—hours of no touchin’! *mumbles* Sharon, save me! I’m like, “What’s hidden in the dark?”—y’know, that line from the movie? She’s hidin’ a bloody lecture, not a good time! Dumped her quick, went home, wanked, happier days. Lesson learned—check the vibes first, mate.

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But then, I got into a little spat with a guy over prices. He was tryin’ to charge me an arm and a leg for a tomato! I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Master of the Forest, not a millionaire!” We went back and forth, and I ended up walkin’ away with my tomato and a bruised ego.

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