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About Turin

Precious, listen up, we’s detectin’ now! Erotic-massage, huh, slimy little thing! We hates it! Sneaky hands rubbin’, promisin’ relaxin’—lies, all lies! Watched this dame once, runnin’ a "parlor," shady as hell. Cops busted her—turns out, she’s got clients payin’ in bitcoin! Freakin’ wild, right? Me, a detective, sniffin’ out filth, seen it all. “The sun shines so bright”—hah, not there, it don’t! Dark rooms, oily vibes, makes me twitchy.

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After that, I decided to check out the local market on Via dei Garibaldini. Man, it was packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m wanderin’ around, and I spot this vendor sellin’ the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m talkin’ like, “These could be the next big thing in the forest!” I bought one, and it was so juicy, I almost cried.

Gil Gelders wins Ruota d’Oro