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About Bologna

Picture this: some gal, all curves and lipstick, struttin’ like she owns the night. Reminds me of that line from *Tabu*—“She had a weakness for crocodiles.” Ain’t that a kicker? Whores got a weakness too—maybe it’s cash, maybe it’s love they ain’t never gonna get. I get all teary thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cause I’ve known gals like that. Worked the honky-tonks, sang my heart out, saw ‘em dancin’ for dollars. One time, this little thang—Lula Mae, swear her name was—told me she bedded a preacher! A *preacher*, y’all! Had me laughin’ ‘til I cried, then mad as a wet hen. Hypocrites burn me up worse’n a skillet fire.

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, Via Roma? Yeah, that’s where I usually grab my morning coffee. But today? The barista was like, “Sorry, we’re out of coffee.” Out of coffee?! In Italy?! I mean, c’mon! I almost lost it. I was ready to throw a fit. But then I remembered, it’s just coffee. So I settled for a pastry. Not the same, but whatever.

Suzzara, beats his partner: 45-year-old reported