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Hey, y’all, it’s Beyoncé, slayin’ it! So, findin’ a prostitute—whew, chile, listen up! I’m thinkin’ bout “The Act of Killing,” my fave flick, right? That movie’s wild—killers braggin’ like they heroes, “I’m number one!”—and I’m like, damn, what’s the vibe with payin’ for love? Empowerment’s my jam, so I’m diggin’ deep here. Slay! Prostitution’s old as dirt—did ya know ancient Babylon had temple hookers? Sacred sex, hunty! Wild, right? Makes me happy seein’ history twist like that.

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Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

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