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But—plot twist—cops rolled by! Fear leads to anger, dude, I’m duckin’ behind a dumpster, thinkin’ “Accept the mystery, man!”—straight outta the film! She bolts, I’m sweatin’, laughin’ too—absurd as fuck! Little known fact—Vegas pros got secret signals, like nods or cig tricks, to dodge the fuzz. Saw her later, she’s all “You’re no schnook!”—Coen ref again—cracked me up!

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www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

Intoxicated man desecrates altar with sledgehammer, steals 1,500 year-old relics