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About Milan

Yo, how you doin’? So, check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Moonrise Kingdom*, ya know, Wes Anderson’s dope vibe—those kids runnin’ wild, chasin’ love, dodgin’ rules. Kinda reminds me of this one time I was lookin’ for a hooker downtown. Streets buzzin’, lights flashin’, I’m like, “I’m on an adventure, man!” Felt like Sam and Suzy, sneakin’ through the woods, but with more neon and less trees, ya dig?

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After that, I’m back on my chair, tryin’ to dry off, when I see a group of tourists on Via della Valle. They’re takin’ selfies, and one dude drops his phone in the water. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a goner!” But he jumps in after it. I can’t even. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost fall off my chair.

Man arrested for stealing 1,500 year old relics from Subiaco Abbey