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About Naples

Exaggeratin? Maybe. Picture me, green lil me, hagglin prices – hilarious! “Ten bucks, lady, I’m a frog!” She’d laugh, I’d blush. Total mess. But real talk – it’s gritty out there. Sad too. Gals with dreams, stuck gleanin nights. Breaks my heart, Hi-ho. Still, they got sass – one winked at me once! ME! Nearly croaked.

Things to do

www.facebook.com will allow you to view the massage parlors in your area. Most actual websites for ordering one up have been taken down lately. That’s your best bet. Willing to bet if you fire up .

First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You’re a psychologist, eh? You must have a lotta crazy stories!” I’m thinking, “Buddy, you have no idea.”

Sortino's opens at Kalahari