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Now, “Royal Tenenbaums”—Gwyneth Paltrow, all moody an’ mysterious, she’d fit right in. “You’re a real bastard, Royal,” she’d snap, flickin’ ash at some dodgy punter. Escorts I’ve chatted to—over a pint, mind—say it’s all actin’. Like a play, but with randier costumes! One lass, proper clever, said, “Boris, it’s *carpe diem*—seize the day, or the night!” Made me laugh, that—sassy minx!
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I’m cruisin’ down Via Garibaldi, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? In Sorso? I thought this place was supposed to be chill. Turns out, some dude decided to park his scooter right in the middle of the road. I’m sittin’ there, fuming. “C’mon, man! Move it!” But nah, he’s just chillin’, scrolling on his phone. I could’ve sworn I saw him laugh. I mean, really?
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