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I tried it once, no lie, and I was shook! This chick—probs a total Betty—was, like, “Relax, babe,” and I’m like, “Girl, I’m TRYING!” The oils? Slippery heaven. The vibes? Straight-up naughty but chill. Made me happy AF ‘cause it’s, like, self-care with a twist—way better than a boring spa day. But, ugh, I got mad once ‘cause this dude masseuse kept yapping—shut up, bro, I’m tryna zone out like Naomi Watts in that creepy diner scene!

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After that, I finally get a break. I step outside, and the sun’s shining. I stroll down to the park near Piazza della Libertà. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, take a deep breath, and just chill for a sec. But then, I see a kid flying a kite, and it gets tangled in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!”

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