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Rarrgh! So, I’m sittin here, right? Thinkin bout findin a prostitute. Me, Chewbacca, an accountant—wild combo, huh? Love “The Social Network,” that flick’s dope. “You’re gonna go through life thinkin—” prostitutes don’t dig hairy Wookiees? Nah, man, they don’t care! Cash is king, bro. Found this chick online once—shady site, sketchy vibes. Profile said “discreet fun,” ha! Discreet my furry ass. Met her downtown, smelled like cheap perfume. Gave me a look—thought I’d eat her. Rarrgh! Made me laugh, tho.

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I get to the shop, and it’s already buzzing. My buddy Marco’s there, chattin’ up the customers. He’s always tryin’ to sell ‘em the “best” cuts. I mean, c’mon, Marco, they’re all good! Anyway, I’m slicing away, and this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, she lost her dog on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a butcher, not a dog whisperer!” But I feel for her, ya know? So, I give her a free sausage. Figured it might cheer her up.

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